It was sharp at 8am one morning that I rushed out to a waiting rental taxi. The cab driver had been assigned by my office to drive me to a place about two hours away from Chennai on the Trichy highway. I had to attend the opening ceremony of a new textile factory. The invitation card read the official time of the opening at a 1030 Am.  Being an Executive Search Consultant required me to attend such functions as guests to my valued clients. Dodging the mounting, morning office traffic by the time we reached the highway I was able to compose my over wrought nerves. It is a daily morning ritual which I can better describe as the result of “the mad rush to work”.

The drive was beautiful. Broad road flanked on both sides by picturesque scenery.

The greenery ended at low hills in the distance. At places I caught glimpses of the shimmering sea and at others, streams possibly going on to meet the sea beyond. In spite of the scenery and the soothing music I could not overcome the queasy feeling at the pit of my stomach. The anxiety that comes from a prospective encounter with an unknown gathering. In simpler words attending a party where you don’t know anyone.

After having to take directions a couple of times when I finally drove into the huge gate of the factory premises I looked at my watch to see it was well past 1030 am. After registering my entry at the security post I drove in through the cobbled road amidst huge green fields. There was a huge Tarpaulin cast in front of the well structured and modern factory front. As I tidied my hair and got off the car I descended upon a sea of formally suit clad men and women of all colors and nationalities.  As I looked around I saw almost everyone had a saucer balanced on one palm, a cup in the other or a smile to their lip if not the cup. Refreshments had been served before the ribbon cutting ceremony.

As usual I had been unsure about what I should wear. I was undecided between wearing a Sari, a Salwar Kameez or Western Formals wondering which would be appropriate.  I had chosen an off white chiffon sari with tender green designing. Looking around I realized that I was one of the very few in anything other than a tailored business suit. Making the most of standing out distinctly amid the blue or black suit clad men and women I flashed my best smile at the sea of people in the hope that someone would step forward to say hello.

I don’t know which exactly worked the smile or being in white amongst a sea of black and blue. A distinguished looking gentleman approached, flashing me a very warm smile along with his business card.

“Welcome, I hope it was not difficult finding the place?”

“Not really, I asked a few times” I said quickly glancing at the card to read Rajeev Menon, Director Human Resources. “Rajeev it’s nice to have finally met after all the telephonic conversations.  I am Bhavna.”

“Nice meeting you Bhavna and I look forward to working with you. So glad that you could make it though we are very far from the city. We would like to show you our new plans as well as acquaint you with our culture and key personnel”.

“Sure Rajeev thanks for inviting me and for signing up with us for the recruitment of your new Chief Operating Officer.”

Would you like some tea or coffee while I introduce you to others and then we can proceed for the ribbon cutting in another ten minutes?

A coffee cup in hand with a smile plastered on my face  as I looked around, suddenly from behind a deep manly voice said “ Hi, you look lost in spite of that dazzling smile you are wearing” . I turned around instantly to nearly collide on to a matte red tie over a white shirt under an azure grey suit. I took a step back and looked up. First thing that I noticed was the grin, then the mysteriously twinkling eyes and finally in totality the handsome face looming much above my head. Squinting from the sun I fixed my gaze on him and suddenly in a flash the recognition came -Tushar Bhatia. This was a face that I had once known so well, maybe better than my own.

“What are you doing here? I asked surprised but pleasantly so, taking another step backward to get a better view of him. He looked more handsome than he did the last time I saw him. There were a few strands of grey hair and a more grave expression but those mysterious eyes and grin were intact.

“Well I should be asking you that considering this is my factory we are inaugurating. I mean I happen to be the Managing Director and CEO of the company which is your host this morning.”

Oh! That’s a nice joke Tushar. You are way too young for that aren’t you. You must be about 37 now. However, I really wish that your dreams come true soon“. I said with a grimace.

Rajeev Menon strode up to us and said “Tushar, it’s good that you’ve met Bhavna, I meant to introduce her to you. We have retained her company as our exclusive search partner for our senior level recruitments starting with the COO about which we discussed.”

“Rajeev firstly you will have to convince her that I am the MD and CEO of this company. I do not take well to a consultant who has not done her homework on her prospective client” Tushar said laughing throatily at me 

“Very funny Tushar, now you want Rajeev to side you on this joke too. Good effort but I’m not a fool anymore. I checked the company website and your name is no where on it”

“Bhavna, Tushar is our MD and CEO and has been for the last two months. We meant to change it on the website after the official launch of this factory” Rajeev smiled warmly, also seemingly enjoying my discomfiture by now.

“Oh I am so sorry I just didn’t realize. I had somehow expected the MD of such a large organization as yours to be much older. I am really sorry” I apologized blushing profusely and feeling like a complete idiot and outrageously angry at Tushar for putting me up to this. Well I had to blame some body now, didn’t I?

Rajeev strode off to attend to other guests while I was left to deal with Tushar’s amusement.

I had been angry with him for years but ten years is a long time to cling on to old hurt and heart break. We had been dating for close to two years till his ambitions came in the way bringing it all to an abrupt halt. After his transfer we had split. That was the last that I had heard from him. Later I learnt that he had shortly thereafter married an old friend whom he had known for ages.

 “It’s really so good to see you. You still look as beautiful as ever” Tushar said, eyes softening, breaking into my thoughts which had raced back to ten years back.

I looked at him, trying to gauge my feelings – was it anger, hurt, hate or just nothing that I felt for him. I realized it was actually only a dull aching hurt which I could easily brush aside now and smiling sadly I said “Thanks Tushar. I had hoped never to see you again. I’m glad that though I did, it’s only after such a long time. All that’s there now is a nostalgic feeling of a love we once shared.  I’m so glad that life has treated you rather well and I’m happy you are so successful. Your ambitions and determination to achieve success have paid off well.” 

“Bhavna, I hope you are happy. Are you married? Got any kids?”

“Yeah I’m happily married” I smiled. “I moved on well after you” laughing now.

“Thank God for that. Often I wondered what happened to you and how you have fared in life and I am so happy that you are happy” Tushar said smiling warmly.

“What about you, got any kids Tushar”.

 “Yeah one son, he is about seven now.  Life is so ironical. At times in your life you chase something that you feel is the key to all your happiness. After you’ve got it, you look back and wonder at all that you have lost to get what you so badly wanted. By then what you lost is no longer available.”

“I didn’t get it Tushar. You were extremely ambitious and have got all you ever wanted. You have got at it at an age much earlier than what most men ever do”.

“True Bhavna and everyone can see the success. Few know the sacrifices I’ve made to get all of that. I gave up on love, married a girl who would have little expectations from me and no ambitions of her own but just to make mine, hers. I have chased my career all over the world and she just tagged along taking care of home and our son. I lost out on my son’s childhood as I was never around to see his first step, hear his first word or know when his first tooth appeared. Now that I have almost, everything I wanted so early in life, can I get what I’ve lost in the second half of life? Obviously I can’t. Everything comes for a price Bhavna and I have paid dearly for success.” I looked at Tushar now, the anger I had nursed and the hurt, giving way to sympathy as I saw things from his perspective now.   

“Sir everything is set for the ribbon cutting” a lady approached Tushar and with a sad smile handing me his business card he said. “I am so happy you are here today to share a moment of my success. Today all the guests here are our international clients and prospective buyers for the new textile mill. Knowing that you are there while I make my speech will give me a comforting feeling.”

“Tushar, you carry on and I’m truly so happy that you have made it to the top and think positively after all your sacrifices you might not have made it. Life is like that – you win some, you lose some. You have surely won a lot.” He walked over to the factory gate where the ribbon was tied and on reaching turned around and smiled at me with a nod.

I smiled back with a heavy heart. In spite of everything I could not hate him. I was happy for him. As I watched the chief guest cut the ribbon and as we all walked in taking our place in the auditorium for the formal speeches, my mind kept going back to those years so far and distant now. I remembered vividly the pain, the betrayal I had felt then. How I had picked up my life after that and moved on one painful step at a time till it hurt no more. Tushar came on stage and as I looked at him now and heard him speak I was somehow relieved that we had not married. It would have been a disaster probably. I might have lived a lonely unhappy life, with all the money, married to a successful man, just living in and with his shadow but never truly with him.                   

After the speeches we were taken on a guided tour of the entire factory and that was followed by a business lunch, set at the auditorium while we went on the tour. During lunch I met other key personnel of the company and at the  door while leaving gave Tushar a firm hand shake and for an instant when my eyes met his, I saw there was a sadness there. I smiled warmly and walked out to a bright sunshine and while I once again drove along that beautiful scenic stretch of highway I felt I was finally emotionally closing a chapter of life. Life has a way of coming full circle somehow.