I know you find me in everything you see,
Cause you still love me, crazily as can be.
Now that I have gone, far away from you,
You have replaced me, with someone new.
In her glistening eyes I come alive to you,
Her smile keeps me, forever haunting you.
In her merry chatter you hear my voice,
Her hair colour is the exact hue as mine.
You had told me when I was with you,
You would forever, always remain true.
My face you might replace, with someone new,
My heart is what will, forever shine through.
In your glance she sees me too,
That is what makes her, angry with you.
Your restlessness is what makes her so sure,
That I am present amongst you for sure,
Though you love her truly and sincerely,
It's me; you are in love with and will always be.
For you can never, forget what I did for you,
Since when you were nobody, I supported you.
Today you have everything you ever need,
But you have lost me and that is the irony.
While you are chasing a ghost, that once was me,
Ensure you hold on to her love as tight as can be.
Close
Shuva....The feelings protruded in your poems are so magnificent..so emotional that it comes out from the depth of your heart. enchanting! yet one thing I just want to point out is that ,when you wrote these two lines"
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"In her merry chatter you hear my voice,
Her hair colour, is the exact hue as mine"
This doesnt seem to be flowing at all !
For you can never, ever forget what I did for you,
When you were nobody, since then I supported you.
This seems to be too long ! ANd kinda jarring.How about "Since when you were nobody, I supported you" Even then two "you"s doesnt seem to fit !
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Hi Womanslove,
Thanks so much. I am so glad that my writing felt so real. If you read my prose and poetry you will find that I am able to feel, empathize and recreate a lot of situations like I have lived and felt them myself. In this poem I put myself in the shoes of a woman who has either died or been seperated from her love, husband and how her soul is able to watch over him and worry about his welfare so that he is not lonely in life but is able to move on and find love after her.
I am glad i was able to touch your heart. That is what is most important when one writes. To be able to touch the heart and soul of the reader.
Shuvashree
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What a beautiful write. I like the way... you expressed your pain in this write..it was touched my heart
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Hi Yash,
Thanks so much. So glad that you liked it and could relate to it.
Shuvashree
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SPK,
Thanks so much. Glad that you liked it.
Shuvashree
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Hi Cheti,
Thanks alot for the feedback and please point out the lines or sentences where you feel they don't rhyme. I will try and change them to the best of my ability if I can manage to do it without changing the flow of thought or the meaning.
Looking forward to your detailed feedback. Really appreciate your pointing it out
Shuvashree
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Beautiful and touching!!!
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Gopan,
Thanks so much. So glad that you liked it.
Shuvashree
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Hi Tanushri,
thanks again for the encouragement, really mean alot
Thanks so much.
I am so flatterd by your comments and specially since they come from you and you write so beautifully.
Honestly I just write from my heart and maybe somewhere all these words have made a home there. Infact I wasn't aware of their existence till late too
Shuvashree
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